on the ropes bloody knuckled and waiting to die.

it’s hard to see the prize through these bruised swollen eyes.

this is it, the big finale, what those jackals all wanted.

to see me quit, to see me ghost, to see me haunted.

knees start to shake as the city just sits in the corner and smiles.

while i try to recall the piled dreams that were lost along the miles.

why do so many of us sail on this boat that keeps taking on water?

floating along aimlessly, dropping names and eating daughters.

i am lost.

then she walks in, picks me up, makes the cuts so i can see.

she makes me brave, makes me tall, helps me breathe.

when she’s close i forget all about the town, it’s liars and it’s pawns.

i tell her baby i may never get the gold but i’ll fucking die before bronze.

open your heart, don’t open your legs.

lie to yourself, find more men to blame.

i’m watching from afar, your shell is so pretty.

forever impressed with the way you sell pity.

you’re warm in your bullshit, your shrink buys a new ring.

with all of the money from the songs that you sing.

baby, you’ll always fall short.

saving the world from monsters while running from yours.

and i’m just another.

you briefly touted, from the mountains you shouted, before you started to doubt it.

the next will get the same treatment, hear the same speeches.

mistaking your strength for weakness, he swims in your sweetness.

6 months later you’ll tell your friends.

the same list of reasons as before that it came to an end.

my father, my lovers, my exes, they came and they went.

and they’ll swing to the sound of this broken record again and again.

she’s the flowers i grew in the garden, that i’ll lay across your grave.

watch me reap what i’ve sown, and eat all the petals i have made.

i’ve always been a killer, i’ve got a backyard full of bodies.

never been one to beg for blood, i do it for a hobby.

shed red like a commie when you see his flag flying.

already wet in the lobby her breathing heavy like she’s dying.

leather purse. chrome knife. in the city we do this right.

sell her words. sever ties. at 3am we come alive.

she says, “what doesn’t kill me makes stronger” so i get out the axe.

she says, “everything happens for a reason” so i put on my mask.

she’s my milk money. i call her pretty please.

explosions everywhere. in debris i ask her to marry me.

saddle up. sit down and stay awhile.

eat you later alligator. smile in a while crocodile.

blue lips i can’t breathe. choking on long black hair.

her eyes on the mirror. enjoying her vanity affair.

2 am texts start rolling in. as i’m going south.

climax. wash my hands. and get the fuck out.

california heels, she remembers to take photos but she forgets to have fun.

the same old steal, cement stained raven gets her shit ate by the small town son.

panicked streets lead us to these static sheets.

manic needs she exclaims her approval, you’re magic sweets.

after awhile, she’s wide crocodile, and he’s drifting back to other numbers.

thirteen and her smile, her cunt, and her shine, which left him sun burnt.

thirty one and her grace, the time she would take, the end and the hurt on her face.

losing count and approaching climax the taste is the same but all this math is a waste.

baby i dream of you dancing, stepping on my left feet and laughing.

i prefer the thorns over the petals. pedals to the metal. penny for your thoughts? a dollar for your dreams. whiny words and the cliche leak from my seams. jesus was a carpenter who was nailed to a tacky coat rack. justin was a writer who drowned himself in black. ink and stink and fumes and plumes. p,u. you know the rest. ends with a wh/y? started with a laugh and smile. double edge sword. aren’t those best kind? because i want to cut at all angles. mangled and tangled. in limbs and skin. the rest makes me so tired. my dreams of her. i sleep with a thin grin. both eyes open. no lies showing. she’s got that fucking hair that won’t stop blowing. in my head i beat him fucking dead. lately all i paint is red. eager beaver. ready to change her status. believes her, new man wont leave her. he got her panties wet with the bullshit he feeds her. me? i just eat her. but at least i’m not a false idol, deceiver. just two j’s then a c who wants a receipt for all the prices he’s paid, the life she displayed taken away replaced with dismay, cut me up like filet i’m so sick of our ways. the self importance so important bored with all the whores with boyfriends oh my lord. so sick of texting and forcing a little more. i should write a movie about all the cunt that my bed has seen but id probably get bored after the second scene. obscene words. i mean i’m mean ask the last one how bad they hurt. a prick. another cactus in this desert till she meets the right meat that fountains her skirt. buried in dirt. i anchor her worth. i’ve been dragging this hurt. time to cut out the nonsense and put an end to this search. it’s all so endless. if you let it. stop chasing the invented. 

baby read my blog,
double check what I write.

[poetry? no where in sight.]

but you should have heard her,
just around midnight.

you keep getting better and the rest are gettting worse.

cursed with the gift of hurt i casket them with words.

the scales are tipping. my lips are sipping.

from the wet your jeans are endlessly dripping.

boy oh boy this is nothing new. what’s his name something blue?

her hue knew questions asked then answered them too.

when i say never again of course i mean three months later.

i wish every day she would love me. even more, i wish i could hate her.

it’s hard to let go of the past even though its covered in thorns.

hello my name is justin joseph, just yesterday i was born.

i haven’t slept in weeks.